Retention

The Weight They Carry: Why Your Best People Need You Most

by Sinead Slattery

I reflected on something important about leadership during a coaching session with a CEO I'll call Sam.

He'd brought me in because his company was thriving—revenue up, new markets opening, industry recognition rolling in. But something was wrong. "My VP of Operations just resigned," he told me. "Completely blindsided me. He was my rock. I thought he was happy." As we dug deeper, a pattern emerged. Over the past two years, Sam had lost three of his most critical leaders. Not to competitors offering more money, but to burnout, exhaustion, and what one exit interview called "carrying too much for too long."

Sam had been so focused on the impressive structure he was building that he hadn't noticed the cracks forming in the beams holding it all up.

In every organization I've worked with, there are load-bearing people. You know who they are. They're the ones who carry the critical projects, mentor the struggling team members, step up during crises, and somehow keep three departments connected when everything else is falling apart. They're your structural supports, and like my neighbor's porch beam, they can develop cracks long before anyone notices.

The Invisible Fractures

The problem with load-bearing team members is that they're selected for that role precisely because they're strong. They handle pressure well. They don't complain. They deliver. So we pile on more weight, assuming they can take it. And they can, right up until they can't.

The cracks start small. A top performer who used to volunteer for every challenge now stays quiet in meetings. Your most reliable manager starts missing the occasional deadline. The colleague who always had creative solutions suddenly offers only by-the-book approaches. These aren't dramatic collapses. They're hairline fractures, easily missed if you're not looking closely.

But here's what I've learned: by the time you see obvious signs of strain, the damage is already significant. The best time to prevent a structural failure is long before the warning signs become visible to everyone.

The Practice of Proactive Support

The most effective leaders I work with have adopted what I call "structural inspections." These aren't performance reviews or project check-ins. They're dedicated conversations focused entirely on the person, not the work product.

Schedule regular one-on-ones with your load-bearing team members specifically to ask: How are you, really? What's feeling heavy right now? What support do you need that you're not getting? And then, critically, you have to listen without trying to fix, defend, or minimize.

Create genuine outlets for release. This doesn't mean a pizza party or a "we appreciate you" email. It means providing safe spaces where people can acknowledge difficulty without fear of being seen as weak or uncommitted. Sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can say is: "This is genuinely hard, and it makes sense that you're feeling the strain."

What Release Actually Looks Like

When I talk about giving people outlets, leaders often nod and then ask what I mean practically. Here's what works:

Normalize the conversation about capacity. Make it safe to say "I'm at my limit" without it being a career-limiting move or unacceptable in today’s eco-system. Model this yourself by occasionally saying no or acknowledging when you're stretched thin.

Provide actual flexibility, not just lip service. If someone is carrying an enormous load, can they work from home more? Take a Friday afternoon off? Hand off the less critical tasks even if they're "good at them"?

Most importantly, validate the weight. Don't say "I know it's tough, but you're doing great!" Say "I can see how much weight you're carrying, and I want to make sure we're not damaging something important here. What needs to change?"

Before the Cracks Deepen

The math here is straightforward. A proactive conversation costs you an hour. Providing support before someone breaks costs you some scheduling complexity or perhaps a temporary dip in their output. But losing a load-bearing team member—to burnout, resignation, or simply their slow transformation into someone who does the minimum—that costs you everything they were holding up.

The leaders who build lasting, resilient organizations aren't the ones who extract maximum output from their strongest people. They're the ones who regularly inspect the beams, catch the cracks early, and reinforce the supports before anyone has to bear more than they can carry.

Your load-bearing team members are holding up more than you probably realize. The question is: when's the last time you checked in on the weight they're carrying?